Been there a couple of years ago... it is HARD, but stay focused. Don't doubt yourself or question yourself or you will lose your mind!
Tips:
- no lawyer is your friend, they're all only in it for the money, so stick to your guns and don't let a lawyer try and persuade you to agree with something you're not comfortable with.
-write your own affidavits. That way you know you have everything you want to cover in there. I wrote mine then emailed them to my lawyer who rewrote them in the correct layout.
- look after yourself because, from my experience, it's a sh!t ride but it does end! :-)
ETA I think the system has changed since I went through it but it not sure in which ways.
Happy to answer any questions you may have too.
Edited by chatterbox123 at 11:17 pm, Wed 27 Feb
chatterbox123 11:15 pm, Wed 27 Feb
My daughter just turned 16, so we are no longer subject to the family courts. It would have been nice though if somewhere along the line some had called up and said...so how's it going. Don't for one second believe they care about what happens to you, you are just another case for a disinterested judge to put in place an order that they think is best. It is not in the best interests of the child no matter how they spin it. For your child/ren's sake try to resolve it amicably out of court. Put your kids first
spydawoman 11:37 pm, Wed 27 Feb
First time round it took over a year and a half and the actual final court part took four solid days. It was awful as I was so damn nervous. As the years rolled by and we went in and out of court I got better and better at it. I learned that just because they write it doesn't mean they can back it up in court, and without evidence it is not accepted. I learned that no a damn thing is unique and that the judges have heard it all before. I learned that you never ever insult the other person and no matter how hard it is find something positive to say about them as a parent. But most of all I learned never to leave anything out and to follow your lawyer's advice to proceed to a tee and not to be nervous about how the other person may react.
Been thru it twice, last time earlier this month,wasd the worst experience of my life,i cried solidly for 4 days afterwards.......avoid at all cost
tahja22 4:51 pm, Thu 28 Feb
conniem wrote:
First time round it took over a year and a half and the actual final court part took four solid days. It was awful as I was so damn nervous. As the years rolled by and we went in and out of court I got better and better at it. I learned that just because they write it doesn't mean they can back it up in court, and without evidence it is not accepted. I learned that no a damn thing is unique and that the judges have heard it all before. I learned that you never ever insult the other person and no matter how hard it is find something positive to say about them as a parent. But most of all I learned never to leave anything out and to follow your lawyer's advice to proceed to a tee and not to be nervous about how the other person may react.
Agree with this person and remind yourself that it is all about the children and their best interests not the best interests of the parents. If you think you are going to be in for a long road under the FC system then its also a good idea to access some counselling as it is very hard emotionally trying to deal with lies that other people write about you.
Tips:
- no lawyer is your friend, they're all only in it for the money, so stick to your guns and don't let a lawyer try and persuade you to agree with something you're not comfortable with.
-write your own affidavits. That way you know you have everything you want to cover in there. I wrote mine then emailed them to my lawyer who rewrote them in the correct layout.
- look after yourself because, from my experience, it's a sh!t ride but it does end! :-)
ETA I think the system has changed since I went through it but it not sure in which ways.
Happy to answer any questions you may have too.
Edited by chatterbox123 at 11:17 pm, Wed 27 Feb
chatterbox123 11:15 pm, Wed 27 Feb
My daughter just turned 16, so we are no longer subject to the family courts. It would have been nice though if somewhere along the line some had called up and said...so how's it going. Don't for one second believe they care about what happens to you, you are just another case for a disinterested judge to put in place an order that they think is best. It is not in the best interests of the child no matter how they spin it. For your child/ren's sake try to resolve it amicably out of court. Put your kids first
spydawoman 11:37 pm, Wed 27 Feb
First time round it took over a year and a half and the actual final court part took four solid days. It was awful as I was so damn nervous. As the years rolled by and we went in and out of court I got better and better at it. I learned that just because they write it doesn't mean they can back it up in court, and without evidence it is not accepted. I learned that no a damn thing is unique and that the judges have heard it all before. I learned that you never ever insult the other person and no matter how hard it is find something positive to say about them as a parent. But most of all I learned never to leave anything out and to follow your lawyer's advice to proceed to a tee and not to be nervous about how the other person may react.
conniem 4:45 pm, Thu 28 Feb
Been thru it twice, last time earlier this month,wasd the worst experience of my life,i cried solidly for 4 days afterwards.......avoid at all cost
tahja22 4:51 pm, Thu 28 Feb
conniem wrote:
First time round it took over a year and a half and the actual final court part took four solid days. It was awful as I was so damn nervous. As the years rolled by and we went in and out of court I got better and better at it. I learned that just because they write it doesn't mean they can back it up in court, and without evidence it is not accepted. I learned that no a damn thing is unique and that the judges have heard it all before. I learned that you never ever insult the other person and no matter how hard it is find something positive to say about them as a parent. But most of all I learned never to leave anything out and to follow your lawyer's advice to proceed to a tee and not to be nervous about how the other person may react.
Agree with this person and remind yourself that it is all about the children and their best interests not the best interests of the parents. If you think you are going to be in for a long road under the FC system then its also a good idea to access some counselling as it is very hard emotionally trying to deal with lies that other people write about you.
hannahsmummy 6:51 am, Fri 1 Mar
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